Meaning, Mischief and Mayhem part 3

So just how do we tear down the walls of illusion? It is actually simpler than you think. Yep you have to think! LOL If the wall are nothing but illusion, then you must be picturing a wall there. So begin to picture what is on the other side of the wall. Be over there. I used to hate it when they would say that to me in class. Be with the other person. I now realize that to truly "Be" with another person and "Be over there" is simply to feel the connection between me and them.

In that moment, you realize there is no me and them, there is us.

So stop yourself the next time you label someone. And realize that you are labeling yourself as well. The true illusion is that there is any separation between anyone or anything. There is none. So feel it. Go with it and see where it leads you.

Living with Fear

Fear is something each of us with. Each fear is unique to each person. She has a fear of dogs, he has a fear of failure and yet another has a fear of success. The spectrum falls from fear of things, people, places or events. The intensity varies as well. It goes all the way from creating a feeling of mild caution to full blown panic attacks. And yet we all still manage to live, breath and make it through each day.

What's my fear? Right now it is falling asleep when I'm alone in my house. I tell myself that it is an irrational fear, but is it? I can usually put it aside, because I live with three other people in the house. However, on those rare occasion when I am alone, it is sitting there waiting, like the uninvited guest who refuses to leave the party.

I have used herbal teas, herbal medicne, chinese medicne and even sleeping pills in an effort to be able to rest easy. Nothing worked. It would get worse with each time as my anxiety and dread with each experience. I knew I was making it harder on myself, but couldn't stop myself. So I knew I needed to look for the answers in my head.

In the last few years I have been studying my mind. How it works, what it wants and how it goes about getting it. I have come to realize that my mind is a separate being from me. No, I don't have split personalities, but I can see that there are two distinct parts of me. There is the spiritual side, which can feel the interconnectedness of all things. Then there is the mental me, the part that believes it is separate, different and not at all a part of the whole design of life. I've come to learn that this is the ego.

The ego is not truly the mind, it is something else altogether. It is not the intelligence. It is not creativity. It is not even completely necessary. (at least not in my opinion.) It is separate from our survival instinct, yet it taps into it to get what it needs.

So if it is none of those things, what is it? It is the voice in the head. You know the one I'm talking about. The one that likes to make a commentary on all of your life. The one that says things like: "Why did I do that! I'm so stupid!" or "Why did she say that? What did she mean?"
It is the story maker. It keeps the notion alive inside that you are separate from everything else.

What is the reason for this separation? Is it to learn? to grow? Is it needed for survival? Survival, an interesting concept when it comes to the ego vs. spirit. It sometimes appears as a war where only one can survive, but since when has war really solved anything? So if I don't go to war against my ego, how can I break it's hold over me?

Presence is what will break it's hold. What is that? It is where you're attention is placed on what is going on right now. Not what happened in the past, or some mythical place in the future, but where you are right now. The task you are completing at this moment. However, it is also the alert presence to all around you as well. It is feeling the connection to all of life.

So when it came to my fear, I asked myself "How can presence help me gain control of my fear?" The concept is very simple, but the practice took some time.

Just a few weeks ago I found myself once again alone in the house. I had been practicing presence on a pretty consistent basis and was excited to find out if it would help with my fear. So there I was, alone in the house. I had checked every room to make sure I didn't have any uninvited visitors. After all, I'm practicing presence, not dismissing the practicalities of being alone. In making sure there was nothing to be afraid of, I was honoring my instincts.

I knew I didn't just want to dismiss my fear. After all, we have it for a reason. However, I wanted to dissolve my irrational fears. The irrational fear is when there is no danger present and our mind is filled with either a past injury, or fear of a future one. Either way, our fight or flight response has kicked in and our body is filled with chemicals that speed up our heart rate and get us ready to either fight for our life, or flee to safety.

So when the fear came in, I did a reality check. Am I in danger? Now is when I need to be completely honest. I didn't want to rationalize, quickly try to dismiss the feeling or beat myself up for feeling it. I looked around to see if I was in immediate danger. Not finding anything threatening, I focused on the sensations running through my body and allowed it to wash over me. It was intense. It was overwhelming, but in the light of presence was over with very quickly. In the aftermath I once again checked in with myself to see if I was okay. I was fine.

This happend a couple of times throughout the evening, each time getting shorter and shorter. Finally by the time I was to go to bed I was feeling peacful and calm. I even slept throughout the night with no night terrors to interupt my sleep. Incredible.

Am I cured? No. There was nothing to cure. There was only the present moment to be dealt with. I don't need to think about it worry that it will come up again, because the chances are good it will. However in light of being able to deal effectivily with it in the past gives me the courage to face it again in the future. I don't need to worry or put anymore attention to it at all. Now I can spend that time I spent worrying about it on something more important. Like how to bring about world peace. LOL

Meaning, Mischief and Mayhem part 2

So why do we label one another? That is the supreme question. I often wonder when I find myself labeling someone. It seems to happen in an instant, and the damage is done. I have slapped a label on a person that singles them out and marks them as "other". And so begins the separation of me from them. And with that separation comes pain. The kind that causes me to lash out at them in one way or another. Sometimes I feel that the lashing out is in response to the separation itself. We push one another away, then lash out in pain at the separation.

Such a paradox, this need to separate ourselves then lash out at the separation. But perhaps it is this separation that lets us see ourselves fully for the first time. Maybe we need to feel our aloneness so that we can fully grasp our connection to others. I wonder sometimes if we are pre-programed to separate so that we may come back together, but somewhere in the past we forgot this as our purpose. We separate, then never reconnect.

Neal Donald Walsh has an amazing book called "Little Soul in the Sun". It is a children's book that talks about our conversation to God prior to our coming to earth. It talks of how we decide we want to learn lessons and that we make agreements with other beings coming to this planet to help us learn these lessons. I say I want to learn forgiveness when I come to this place of existence. You tell me you will help me learn forgiveness, but to remember that in helping me learn this lesson not to forget our love for one another.

Such a beautiful way to express our contracts with one another. It shows how much we need one another to fulfil them. Even if it means causing us pain.

And yet when I get to this planet and I encounter you on the freeway and you cut in front of my car . . . I forget my agreement completely. I not only lash out, but I refuse to forgive you and in so doing refuse to forgive any other driver on the road for the future. Creating more and more separation. Can you feel it? The distance between you and me? However, this is nothing more than illusion. There can be no separation.

For according to the law of conservation of energy states that energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another. We are all made up of energy, so in my inception, I was not created from nothing, I was just a new form of the energy that was already available on this planet, the same as you are. We are created from the same energy.

All the matter in our universe and beyond is connected. So no matter how much you try, there can be no separation. None.

So how can we begin to tear appart this illusion of separation and begin to feel the connection? Think on it.

Meaning, Mischief and Mayhem

If there is one thing I have learned from the different classes I have taken and the books I have read, it would be that we, as human beings, are meaning making machines. I believe it starts in infancy as we learn language. I think that when we teach childeren language we teach them to label things. For instance when we point an say "That is a tree" what we are really doing is teaching a label. It would be better to say "We call that a tree." (Thank you Eckart Tolle for that distinction)


Why is this distinction important? What is the difference between saying that is what we call it vs. that is what it is? Because things are more than what we call them. Is an accountant just an accountant? No, they are mothers and fathers, friends, brothers, sisters and so on. Yet even those are labels. We are more than what any one word can describe us. So much more. We are more precious than any gem and far more valuable. You cannot put a label on it.



So why do we do this to one another? Think about it.

Happiness Now

I can't believe how happy I've been for the last few days. It has truly been awesome. Living in the moment has certainly made a difference. Being focused on being present really keeps what is important in the forefront of my mind. Have I had trying stuff happen? Oh yeah. But I didn't let it impact me. In fact this has probably been one of the most mentally trying weeks I've had in a while, but by really keeping to the present moment I found that I could be happy in the face of any circumstance.

I've created a series of questions for when I'm feeling frustrated or worrying about something that is not in the present moment. (This could be past of future.)

Can I do anything about this situation?

No? Then it will take care of itself, and I switch my thinking back to the present moment.

Yes? Can I do something about it right now?

No. Then make a note of what to do later and when.

Yes. Then do it.


So far, it's working great. It is particularly useful at work. I find that when I begin to fret about something getting done, I just go through the questions and it make stuff so much easier. What do I have to fret about if I can do something about it, and I do! What a concept! Can't do anything about it now? Make a list so you will remember to do it later.


But watch out for the list trap. Don't become obsessed with it! I have watched my friends go crazy with this part. They write their lists then freak out when they can't get anything done. When the reality is they spend so much time in freak out mode they waste time they could be DOING something about what they are fretting about. It makes me crazy! It is crazy. So the next time you find yourself spending time worrying about getting something done, stop worrying and get it done! I guarantee that a majority of projects that don't get done are not because of an inadequate amount of time, but because of time wasted.

Okay, enough lecture. . . just enjoy the moment.

Perfect example: I hate doing dishes! HATE IT! and yet again I found myself doing dishes yesterday. Grrr. I thought to myself, "I don't like this! I hope my roommate realizes how much I love them because I'm doing these dishes I hate. " As soon as that thought crossed my mind it dawned on me. This is an act of love. Me standing here, doing dishes is an act of love. WOW! So now, in this present moment I have 2 choices. 1. I can continue my thoughts about how I hate doing dishes, or 2. I can change my thinking and do this loving and thoughtful act for my roommate. So I chose to be present to the love I have for my roomie and do the dishes as an act of love.

It was awesome. I finished the dishes very quickly and I felt lighthearted and free. Such a change. Now if I can only keep this thought the next time I do dishes! Of course I'll have to keep recreating it until it becomes a part of who I am. With any luck it won't be too bad.

Well, that's enought for now.
Blessings!

The Power of Now

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is an awesome book. It really explains the concept of living in the now. It explains how we waste our lives living everywhere but the present. Living in the now is the key to real happiness. It is the missing piece. I can be happy now, because there is nothing about my present circumstances to be unhappy about.

How can this be? Do I care about the level of my bank account? Sure. Do I care about my health? Sure. How about the wars that are happening? Sure. But it is important to remember that my ability to do anything about these things is limited to what I am doing now. Worrying about things I have no control over and not doing anything about the things I do have control over is just crazy.

My ability to be present is the greatest gift I have to give to others. By being totally present I allow myself to be connected to others. It is that connection that we so desperately crave. This is why we are here. To find that what we thought was missing in our selves is not really missing at all. It was there the whole time.

It all started today

Well, it really started right now. See, all you have is now. What a concept. Every moment you spend living in the past or thinking about your future robs you of now. Every moment you spend on this planet is precious.

Just the fact that you are able to read this blog . . . that you are breathing . . . that your body processes the food you eat and turns it into the nutrients you need to live is a miracle. The body is made up of hundredes of systems that must work together to keep you going. If even one thing is even slightly off it can cause illness and in extream cases, death. You are a walking miracle.

But you know all this right? So why blog it? Well, like they said in the Princess Bride "He told me to go back to the beginning, so that is where I have gone, back to the beginning."

So now it begins . . .